Get Healed at Bingo Night...

I had an interesting psychological assessment to do this week. This lady showed up to the assessment center and was acting so schizophrenic that the staff was convinced she was mentally ill and was ready to send her to one of the rehab teams. When they were discussing where to send her the next day, one of the staff members said, "I know her. I see her at Bingo night, and in fact I saw her last night." She went on to describe someone completely opposite of the person who had presented for the interview the previous day. They came to see me the next week to see if I could give her some psychological tests to find out if she was malingering. She again presented as a person who would not make eye contact, sat hunched over, sat wringing her hands non-stop, mumbled or muttered incoherent responses to questions, or ignored them altogether. She very well looked the part of a schizophrenic. However, I was able to catch her in several lies. The family talked about how she often wanders at night, barefoot, to a very dangerous area of town that is at least 2-3 miles from her home. I asked to see her feet (as she was wearing flip-flops), and she very reluctantly raised them up after the third request. Surprise! No callouses, no cuts, no bruises, no marks, no blisters! I watched her on a video monitor for about 10 minutes before going out to get her. She was sitting very quietly, but when she came in my room, sat wringing her hands in an agitated fashion. The daughter-in-law then informed me that the woman was incontinent and wets and messes her pants and so they make her wear diapers to bed. I asked if it was at night or also in the daytime, and she said, "Both." I asked why she was not currently wearing a diaper and she quickly replied, "Oh, I can tell when she needs to go because she starts grabbing herself and it is very obvious." Not five seconds passed, and the woman started grabbing her crotch like Madonna on a stage or Roseanne on a mound singing the star-spangled banner. We rushed out to the bathroom and she went in. She came out and acted like she had wet herself, but no wet stains were apparent. I then quickly talked with her son and asked some questions about her symptoms, and he replied in a consistent manner with his fiancee's responses. Then I asked her what she does during the day. "She sits in the house mostly, unless we take her to the store or a barbecue." I asked how she interacts at the barbecues and he said she just sits to herself. I then asked if she is involved in any other types of activities, and he replied, "No activities at all." I then asked in the most nonchalant way possible, "Well, does she ever go dancing, or out to a bar, or to some of these places that play Bingo on the weekends?" and he said, "No, she just stays home."

So, that night, she was at Bingo again, and approached the staff member and was asking lots of questions like, "why did they refer me to that other guy?" and "He suggested we talk to our doctor about antipsychotics, what are those?" The entire time, she manifested good eye contact, normal speech, got along well with people, talked and laughed with others, ate food, and played Bingo with several cards at once...and even won a few times. She was even there with her son. I guess Bingo has a miraculous healing influence over the mentally ill of the world. :)