Trying my hardest...
Ahhhh...the frustrations of parenting. My daughter brought home a progress report for me to sign. She handed it to me and stated, "Oh, that one bad grade is from the day I was sick a few weeks ago...I wasn't able to turn it in until Monday and she docked me for not emailing it earlier."
Me thinking: "Oh good, that's not so bad, if she only had one missing assignment" as I scanned the report and my eyes finally settled on the current overall grade--52% F. "You have an F daughter!" I exclaimed loudly, somewhat in shock (although I don't know why I would be shocked when it is the same report card every midterm).
"Oh yeah..it's because I didn't turn in that one assignment."
"Uh..it says here that you are missing several assignments, and that you received Ds and Fs on several others...Look here, you got 25 out of 80 on this assignment!"
Her, now bursting into tears, "I'm trying my hardest!"
"No...you are not trying your hardest because you wouldn't have an F if you were trying your hardest."
Her: "Yes I am...why won't you ever believe me? I'm doing the best I can."
Me, "Then why did you get an F on this particular assignment."
Her, "Because I forgot about it until the beginning of class and couldn't get it done in time."
Me, "Then you must not be trying your hardest, because trying your hardest means you do your homework after school and turn it in the next day."
Her, "Well, I'm doing the best I can!"
About 10 more minutes of wasted breath on my part followed and I am sure it did no good...If this is her best, I'd hate to see her worst. What does it take to develop character in a child? Responsibility? Work ethic? Dependability? Honesty? To be honest, I sometimes think that values like that must come with the soul of a child, and if that soul hasn't developed them in the thousand of years it has lived in the pre-existence, then maybe it is too late now. I feel like giving up and letting my kids flunk their classes and attend summer school. It doesn't seem like it is worth the effort when nothing ever leads to improvements. I just wish when my kids did something wrong, they would at least acknowledge that they screwed up, and promise to try harder, but they never do. I guess in the end it is their life and they can do with it as they wish, but if they wish to live with me when they are 30 and unemployed, forget it...
Me thinking: "Oh good, that's not so bad, if she only had one missing assignment" as I scanned the report and my eyes finally settled on the current overall grade--52% F. "You have an F daughter!" I exclaimed loudly, somewhat in shock (although I don't know why I would be shocked when it is the same report card every midterm).
"Oh yeah..it's because I didn't turn in that one assignment."
"Uh..it says here that you are missing several assignments, and that you received Ds and Fs on several others...Look here, you got 25 out of 80 on this assignment!"
Her, now bursting into tears, "I'm trying my hardest!"
"No...you are not trying your hardest because you wouldn't have an F if you were trying your hardest."
Her: "Yes I am...why won't you ever believe me? I'm doing the best I can."
Me, "Then why did you get an F on this particular assignment."
Her, "Because I forgot about it until the beginning of class and couldn't get it done in time."
Me, "Then you must not be trying your hardest, because trying your hardest means you do your homework after school and turn it in the next day."
Her, "Well, I'm doing the best I can!"
About 10 more minutes of wasted breath on my part followed and I am sure it did no good...If this is her best, I'd hate to see her worst. What does it take to develop character in a child? Responsibility? Work ethic? Dependability? Honesty? To be honest, I sometimes think that values like that must come with the soul of a child, and if that soul hasn't developed them in the thousand of years it has lived in the pre-existence, then maybe it is too late now. I feel like giving up and letting my kids flunk their classes and attend summer school. It doesn't seem like it is worth the effort when nothing ever leads to improvements. I just wish when my kids did something wrong, they would at least acknowledge that they screwed up, and promise to try harder, but they never do. I guess in the end it is their life and they can do with it as they wish, but if they wish to live with me when they are 30 and unemployed, forget it...
posted by PsychDoctor at
12:48 AM
4 Comments:
I would think there has to be some reward in it for her to get motivated. My first couple years of high school I tried harder for two reasons: I liked being ahead on the assignments and was able to do that because I otherwise had nothing to do when I got home from school. I guess she can't feel the reward of pride in being one of the better students in class when she is starting with Ds and Fs though. My other motivator was that students on the principal's honor roll were able to join Key Club and get a free ski trip.
I think another thing that helped is that I had all kinds of friends, slackers and nerds, etc. When I wanted to get more serious about school work I would hang out more with the kids that did better in school.
I would have to guess that her friends must be a distraction from her schoolwork. She must be doing SOMETHING after school and apparently it isn't homework.
Maybe you could encourage her to hang out more with friends that are getting good grades. If she isn't interested in any rewards for good grades throught the school, maybe you could offer to buy her a pony or something. And then tell her you will send it to the glue factory if she can't keep the grades up.
I am trying to call the school. If I have my way, she can sit in detention at lunch and do her homework then. :) Also, she won't be liking summer school this summer, and not swimming with the rest of us!!
I tried rewards, bribing with money, movies, dinners, etc....it didn't work. It makes it more miserable for me to listen to her, but nothing else seems to be phasing her......
FWW...great ideas...I am really just getting tired of the annoyance of it all...I think by next year, I will quit fighting the battle with the three oldest because it doesn't seem to do any good...Ultimately it is their responsibility to think about their future, and I guess there are plenty of people who did poorly in High school that go on to do better things later on, but I think it makes it harder...
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