Peace Truce in Jeopardy???
Well, my mother-in-law has just flown in for a week long visit. This is the woman that hated my guts before she even met me. She was living with my wife when we started dating, and told her that I was just nice to the kids so I could get her in the sack. The first time I met her, I was picking up Melissa for our second date. She was sitting at the kitchen table furiously painting a Mason Jar. She looked irritated. She didn't look up, she didn't acknowledge that I was in the room, she just kept painting even when I tried to make eye contact with her to say hello. The kids came running out, and Melissa told them to get back into their rooms (she didn't want me to be scared off by hyperactive children).
Well, Melissa's mom returned to WV and things went okay for awhile. We got married in September 1999, and none of Melissa's family came out for the wedding (I really think none of them could get work off, but it still bothered me). A few months later, we went out to South Carolina for Melissa's brother's wedding. The whole family was there (what a contrast to our wedding). Melissa's mom talked with me to see if she could come live with us in Utah. I only had two requests : 1. that she would not undermine our church in front of the kids (she thinks Mormons are going to Hell), and 2. that she not undermine me as a parent as it was extremely difficult becoming a parent of 4 half-grown children. Well, she moved in and hated me. She didn't like it when I disciplined the kids. She thought I was too hard on them and made it a point to let them know that I just wasn't letting them "be kids." She told some of the kids negative things she felt about our religion. We sent her packing after about three months of that and I didn't talk to her for about 5 years... :)
Well, last summer, she and her mother came out to visit. She was pleasant, she didn't undermine me, she was friendly, she didn't bad-mouth me to my wife-In other words, we got along fine.
Now she is here for our daughter's 16th birthday. Unfortunately, I am in my worst mood with the kids that I have been in for a long time. I have been sick of the kids not doing schoolwork, fighting, bickering, not cleaning up after them selves, challenging everything I say, etc. I think this visit will be nice, but I hope the kids cooperate and try to help out. If I get upset with the kids for whatever reason, I could jeopardize the tentative peace truce she has nonverbally offered me. I guess it really is in my control...I just wish my kids would make it easier. :)
Well, Melissa's mom returned to WV and things went okay for awhile. We got married in September 1999, and none of Melissa's family came out for the wedding (I really think none of them could get work off, but it still bothered me). A few months later, we went out to South Carolina for Melissa's brother's wedding. The whole family was there (what a contrast to our wedding). Melissa's mom talked with me to see if she could come live with us in Utah. I only had two requests : 1. that she would not undermine our church in front of the kids (she thinks Mormons are going to Hell), and 2. that she not undermine me as a parent as it was extremely difficult becoming a parent of 4 half-grown children. Well, she moved in and hated me. She didn't like it when I disciplined the kids. She thought I was too hard on them and made it a point to let them know that I just wasn't letting them "be kids." She told some of the kids negative things she felt about our religion. We sent her packing after about three months of that and I didn't talk to her for about 5 years... :)
Well, last summer, she and her mother came out to visit. She was pleasant, she didn't undermine me, she was friendly, she didn't bad-mouth me to my wife-In other words, we got along fine.
Now she is here for our daughter's 16th birthday. Unfortunately, I am in my worst mood with the kids that I have been in for a long time. I have been sick of the kids not doing schoolwork, fighting, bickering, not cleaning up after them selves, challenging everything I say, etc. I think this visit will be nice, but I hope the kids cooperate and try to help out. If I get upset with the kids for whatever reason, I could jeopardize the tentative peace truce she has nonverbally offered me. I guess it really is in my control...I just wish my kids would make it easier. :)
posted by PsychDoctor at
12:48 AM
2 Comments:
Did you really go five years without talking to her? That's funny. I didn't even do that with my EX mother-in-law.
yeah, youhave to remember that she lives in WV and only calls on weekends...What reason would she have to call me up and talk to me? Unless it were to apologize of course...since she was in the wrong. :)
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