A Day in the "Lie"fe of C********
http://stores.ebay.com/Photo-For-You
Well...here was my major irritant yesterday...I found out my 13-year-old son has been slacking in school and had like 40+ missing or late assignments. The rule we established in our home a few years ago to deal with A***** when she was being a slacker in school is that the kids would have to complete the homework assignment (even if they couldn't receive credit) and write a 3 page report for every missing assignment. Well, C****** owes me an entire 70 page spiral notebook full of reports. I feel bad, but he knew the consequences when choosing not to turn in his homework, so I don't feel I can go back on that. Anyhow, I got home last night and asked him how much homework he did. He said that he worked so hard and finished like 17 different homework assignments. I asked to see them, so he gets out a notebook and begins to show me the ones he completed that night. The first 4 were black ink. The fifth was in pencil.
I said, "You didn't do that one tonight!"
To which he responded, "Yes I did."
I asked, "Then Why is it in pencil instead of ink?"
He replied, "Because the pen ran out of ink."
Knowing that C***** lies almost pathologically over even small insignificant matters, I asked to see the pen.
He stammered, "I threw it in the garbage can outside."
Calling his bluff, I took him out to the driveway and dumped out the garbage. "Find me the pen," I demanded.
Maintaining his lie, he began to look through the garbage on the driveway, acting amazed that the pen wasn't there.
"Where is the pen?" I demanded again.
"I don't know! I threw it away! I promise!" he cried, as his eyes brimmed with tears.
Even after confronted with the metaphysical impossibility that the pen could have disappeared, and the one-in-a-billion chance that someone had come by and dug through the trash to pull out a pen that did not work, he still swore up and down that the pen was thrown into that garbage can. This went on for 10-15 minutes to the point I began to wonder if maybe C*****, because he can be scatter-brained at times, might have thrown it into a different garbage can. When asked this, he denied it, again sticking to his story.
Time for a different angle (I kept on this so doggedly because I am really tired of his constant lying...I am starting to worry that it is going to adversely affect his future if he doesn't stop doing it soon). "Okay, I will give you the benefit of the doubt for the moment...show me on the paper you wrote where the ink was running out."
Instead of coming clean, he dutifully walked into my room where the assignments were and said, "See right there."
I looked and saw writing with dark ink, and no signs that a pen had gone dry. "Hmmm...it looks like a normal pen...I don't think it actually ran out."
More tears, streaming down his face, "I swear it did! Why don't you believe me?"
By this time I was extremely angry, because I knew for a certainty that he was lying once again over something completely meaningless. If he had told the truth, he would have been chided for not doing more homework, and maybe given another assignment to do.
Well, after about another 10 minutes of denial, he finally came clean with the truth...
He had been watching TV after school, helping a friend play Gameboy, and had only completed one assignment.
I am truly scared for his future if he doesn't learn soon that honesty is an important virtue, and if you have no integrity, you have nothing.
On a brighter note, today I came home, most of the kids' chores were done, and C***** had completed like 15 of his missing math assignments and one page of a report. Not perfect, but showing some effort at improving. I just wish he would start understanding the importance of a man's word.
Well...here was my major irritant yesterday...I found out my 13-year-old son has been slacking in school and had like 40+ missing or late assignments. The rule we established in our home a few years ago to deal with A***** when she was being a slacker in school is that the kids would have to complete the homework assignment (even if they couldn't receive credit) and write a 3 page report for every missing assignment. Well, C****** owes me an entire 70 page spiral notebook full of reports. I feel bad, but he knew the consequences when choosing not to turn in his homework, so I don't feel I can go back on that. Anyhow, I got home last night and asked him how much homework he did. He said that he worked so hard and finished like 17 different homework assignments. I asked to see them, so he gets out a notebook and begins to show me the ones he completed that night. The first 4 were black ink. The fifth was in pencil.
I said, "You didn't do that one tonight!"
To which he responded, "Yes I did."
I asked, "Then Why is it in pencil instead of ink?"
He replied, "Because the pen ran out of ink."
Knowing that C***** lies almost pathologically over even small insignificant matters, I asked to see the pen.
He stammered, "I threw it in the garbage can outside."
Calling his bluff, I took him out to the driveway and dumped out the garbage. "Find me the pen," I demanded.
Maintaining his lie, he began to look through the garbage on the driveway, acting amazed that the pen wasn't there.
"Where is the pen?" I demanded again.
"I don't know! I threw it away! I promise!" he cried, as his eyes brimmed with tears.
Even after confronted with the metaphysical impossibility that the pen could have disappeared, and the one-in-a-billion chance that someone had come by and dug through the trash to pull out a pen that did not work, he still swore up and down that the pen was thrown into that garbage can. This went on for 10-15 minutes to the point I began to wonder if maybe C*****, because he can be scatter-brained at times, might have thrown it into a different garbage can. When asked this, he denied it, again sticking to his story.
Time for a different angle (I kept on this so doggedly because I am really tired of his constant lying...I am starting to worry that it is going to adversely affect his future if he doesn't stop doing it soon). "Okay, I will give you the benefit of the doubt for the moment...show me on the paper you wrote where the ink was running out."
Instead of coming clean, he dutifully walked into my room where the assignments were and said, "See right there."
I looked and saw writing with dark ink, and no signs that a pen had gone dry. "Hmmm...it looks like a normal pen...I don't think it actually ran out."
More tears, streaming down his face, "I swear it did! Why don't you believe me?"
By this time I was extremely angry, because I knew for a certainty that he was lying once again over something completely meaningless. If he had told the truth, he would have been chided for not doing more homework, and maybe given another assignment to do.
Well, after about another 10 minutes of denial, he finally came clean with the truth...
He had been watching TV after school, helping a friend play Gameboy, and had only completed one assignment.
I am truly scared for his future if he doesn't learn soon that honesty is an important virtue, and if you have no integrity, you have nothing.
On a brighter note, today I came home, most of the kids' chores were done, and C***** had completed like 15 of his missing math assignments and one page of a report. Not perfect, but showing some effort at improving. I just wish he would start understanding the importance of a man's word.
posted by PsychDoctor at
11:20 PM
5 Comments:
Kids are frustrating. I just heard about my daughter's grades in school, and they've all dropped since last quarter. My ex talked to the teacher and found out it's because she doesn't listen to instructions, and ends up doing all her homework assignments incorrectly. That, or she turns them in late and loses points. This time we decided not to get mad and yell at her, but rather just talk with her and the teacher to find out how to fix it. My ex says that she sounds humbled, I can only hope it lasts.
Good luck with the lying part though. That makes it much harder to deal with. I don't envy you.
Yeah, but looks aren't everything!! If he doesn't shape up, he will have a miserable summer as I will sign him up for summer school....and that is as hard on us as it is on him, but it is the principle of it all.
clever title! But now I feel like I better write a comment, because I write "clever title" on student papers when I can't think of anything else constructive to say!
I can't imagine how hard it must be to teach kids that good character will get them somewhere.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sounds like a bit of a lose-lose situation for the son. You stated:
"If he had told the truth, he would have been chided for not doing more homework, and maybe given another assignment to do."
So basically, whatever he does, he gets disapproval from his father. If he lies, he is punished, if he does not, his efforts are not good enough.
This sounds like a tough place to put any 13 year old kid in.
I don't mean to judge, but that is just my reaction to the entry.
Just a little gratuituous commentary from an old roommate that has no 13 yr old son... yet!!
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