Caution...Psychology Humor!!!

Here are three drawings that kids did for me the other day....I personally thought it was hilarious, but judge for yourself...

NO PIZZA FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did a service project with the recovering drug addicts today at the State Hospital. We had to remove wallpaper from a historical site, rake leaves, and tear out old shrubs. The chaplain there had told us he would get us drinks from the Cantina and Pizza. One client worked well the first 90 minutes, but when we went to a new location to work, was complaining. He stayed in the van and took a nap. I was going to give him a violation/demerit, but instead concocted a plan that we would not awaken him when the pizza arrived. The pizza came and we downed it as fast as we could. Some of the other clients were being spiteful and stuffing themselves to the extreme so there wouldn't be any left. Just as another client and I were finishing the last 2 pieces, he came out of the van and came over to get some pizza. There wasn't any left. We offered him the last halves of our pieces, but he refused. We told him, "Do half the work, get a half a piece of pizza." ;) I actually felt bad that we didn't save him one piece, but I bet next time he works the entire time. :)

Oh MY!!!!!!!

I am so excited because I have worked a few days this week at a residential drug treatment center and finally have a few funny things to blog about...

One night I was talking to my co-worker when the clients had gone to bed. We heard a door slam and went to investigate. I looked in the bathroom and saw an older gentleman, without a shirt on, bending over to move a chair. He had BOOBS!!!! They were hanging down like 6 inches. I had to quickly shut the door and run away.

The next day, I was telling my other co-workers about the trauma. They laughed and said that when they see him, they can't stop laughing. He wears tank tops around and has like round B-Cup boobs. I think they are the kind that Native Minnow likes.

So, they called to ask if I could work yesterday. I went in and saw the man at the computer. They had just asked if I would work Saturday morning, and I leaned over the the secretary and whispered, "I will come in anytime you like, as long as the eye-candy is here." :)

daughter no go to bed

Lately, my almost 3-year-old daughter has trouble going to bed at night. She has suddenly become terrified of the dark. I am sure it has nothing to do with me telling her that if she gets out of bed one more time, the monster in the closet will bite all of her toes off and feed them to the dogs. She has recently become terrified of dogs as well. We are thinking about taking her to a therapist to help her work through these fears....actually, I am just kidding about everything but the not going to bed and scared of the dark parts. We put her to bed around 9PM and she will play in her room, play with dolls in her bed, come give us multiple hugs and kisses good night, ask for more milk, ask to watch a movie, tell us she needs a stuffed animal that is probably at the very bottom of her toy box, etc. Sometimes around 11PM I try to turn off the hall light to save electricity, and I always hear a "Hey! Turn on the light!" Sometimes, when I am really fed up with it, I turn off the hall light and shut her door so she cannot see to play. She cries, but once I leave, she pushes her rocking chair out into the hallway, or takes her dollhouse out there, and stands on it to turn the light back on. Sometimes she has an excuse, like a late nap. However, most of the time she just likes to stay up.

Guided Flyfishing on the Green River

I also got some cool pictures of guided fishing trips...

Native Minnow Does Hook Up Every Once in a While...

Check out a picture of my brother Native Minnow kicking my butt at fishing on the Green River...Unfortunately I was skunked both days. :(

At least I got a cool picture out of it. :)

http://cgi.ebay.com/Green-River-Flyfisherman-11x14-Photo-Print-Poster-Art_W0QQitemZ330101104117QQcategoryZ66465QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

Spring Blossoms in Southern Utah....

Salt Lake Sunset Pictures

Sunset over Quarry Northwest of Capitol Building SLC

Sunset over SLC International Airport

Sunset near my home

East of Saltaire...Great Salt Lake...Antelope Island in Distance

Two More SL Temple Pics...

Photo of Salt Lake Temple...

So, I learned a new technique in photoshop...I like the effect...I have other shots, but I am too lazy to upload them...

Text Messaging

My sister and mother came to the "big city" to do some shopping for a dress...I received a text from my sister saying they were at the mall. I texted back to see if they thought they would have time to come up and see us. She texted back it would depend on how much time they had. I wanted to know if I should run down and see them and texted back and forth to see if I should, and kept receiving the same reply.."it depends on if we are able to get all of our errands done." The texts were taking forever and I was getting frustrated (due to sleep deprivation). My wife finally said, "Why don't you just call her?!" Oh yeah...phones can do that too....

Hypoxiphilia--Here I come...

I was sleeping today after working a graveyard shift last night...My wife came in around noon and woke me up. I was kind of laying on my stomach and she came over and lay on top of me. 'Struggling' to breathe, I gasped the words, "I think I'm becoming a hypoxiphiliac..."

Wax Museum...how do you spell that dang word???

Our stupid maltese terrier, Toby, kept barking out the window as we were eating dinner. I had enough sensory overload for the day, and after telling him to be quiet about 3-4 times, I finally picked him up, stormed upstairs, and threw him out the second-story window...That shut him up!!!!
Actually, I just put him in his kennel, and as I was walking out, I angrily blew out the big candle I bought the other day and placed on my wife's $700 dresser/mirror set. Wax sprayed everywhere, all over the mirror, all over the wood, all over her new purse, and all over a subpoena for court. So, when you are blowing out the wicks of a four-wick candle, be careful, lest you do the same as me...

(Hopefully Museum is the right spelling in the title...I had to type that about 10 different ways...)

Wild Hogs

We went out to a movie and a dinner with our friends from Orchardville. She really wanted to see Wild Hogs. I was not looking forward to it because I thought that it would be lame. There are so many commercials promoting the film that I thought it must have been a stupid movie that couldn't draw an audience without over-promotion. It was actually pretty good. Once I got past the histrionic/over-the-top comedy-acting, I actually enjoyed it. And, unlike what I had suspected, all of the funny highlights were NOT in the commercials. :) I would recommend seeing it on DVD.