I went to a training yesterday on how therapists can better work with Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning clients (these are the terms the presenter used, because there is a small minority of homosexuals that refer to themselves as queer). I thought the training was helpful, informative, and very useful, except for one thing. The presenter continuously bashed the Mormon church throughout the discussion. She singled it out and made blanket statements about how horrible the LDS church is, and how it is made up of gay-haters and homophobes...I realize that there are members in the church that are homophobic, and probably even members that hate homesexuals (although I don't know any personally), but just because a religion believes that an act is immoral does not mean they hate the people engaged in the act. For example, the LDS/Mormon Church teaches that premarital and extramarital sex are sins. We don't hate those that have affairs (unless it is our own spouse :)), but neither do we condone the act. We don't hate those that have sex out of wedlock, although we don't condone that act. The vast, vast majority of Mormons also do not hate gays, although they do believe that homosexual acts are against the commandments of God. I think this is one of those issues like immigration reform. Back in the 1990s, it was very difficult, and still is, to say that you wanted immigration reform without looking like a racist. I think it is a fine line that needs to be walked carefully to make sure your intentions are good and you are not degrading certain races of people. The LDS church's opposition to gay marriage is based on the idea that homosexual behavior is against the commandments of God. They have also stood up to influences in the past wanting to legalize gambling in Utah, soften liquor laws, etc. They believe they have a moral obligation to speak out on moral issues when the legislation will give government endorsement of behaviors viewed as against the commandments of God. Now, if gay rights activists are successful in legalizing gay marriage/partnerships, and it appears that they will be successful in obtaining equal protection/rights under the consitution, LDS people will not form mobs to lynch gays who have married, or riot in the streets, or burn down gay partner's homes. They will respect the law of the land, still try to teach their children to not engage in homosexual acts, and still learn to cope with the event that their child does come out of the closet and announce that he/she is gay/lesbian. I think I am in the middle ground on this subject. I respect gays and lesbians and their chosen lifestyle. I have many clients who are gay or lesbian, and I would never engage in a discussion on the morality of their chosen lifestyle. However, I personally think it would be very difficult to accept if my child announced to me that he or she was homosexual...I would especially have a difficult time if they announced this as a teenager because I would feel they were not old enough to consider all of the ramifications that coming out would have on their life. I know that the LDS church has openly stated that it does not agree with homesexual acts and it views such as sin; however, it has also come out against gay-bashing, homophobia, violence, or vituperative attacks on gays/lesbians. The prophet of the church, Gordon B. Hinckley, has stated,
"Nevertheless, and I emphasize this, I wish to say that our opposition to attempts to legalize same-sex marriage should never be interpreted as justification for hatred, intolerance, or abuse of those who profess
homosexual tendencies, either individually or as a group. As I said from this pulpit one year ago, our hearts reach out to those who refer to themselves as gays and lesbians. We love and honor them as sons and daughters of God. They are welcome in the Church. It is expected, however, that they follow the same God-given rules of conduct that apply to everyone else, whether single or married."
I guess what I am trying to say, is that just because someone does not agree with the lifestyle another has chosen, it does not automatically equate that this person hates the other.
The last point I wanted to make is that recent debates about what is right and what is wrong are based on philosophies of "relative morality:" that what is right always depends on the individual's situation or the times, and a belief that God does not have eternal laws. However, if you look at things from the perspective that some things might be eternal laws, and that certain behaviors really might be wrong in the eyes of God, then it changes the perspective.
The lady made mention that Mormons hate gays and teach that they will "burn in Hell." That, too, is not an accurate portrayal. All but the Sons of Perdition (those who have a perfect knowledge of the Godhead and deny them) will be saved in a heavenly degree of glory, whether the Telestial, Terrestial, or Celestial Kingdom....and they will "ENJOY that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received" (D&C 88:32). I don't think that practicing homosexuals are going to be condemned to an eternity of misery and wretchedness. They will be resurrected to a degree of glory and enjoy the degree of glory that they received.
I was also bothered that before she showed a film about a girl (lesbian) in Salt Lake City, Utah who formed an after school club to promote understanding between gay/straight/lesbian students, she mentioned how horrible the Mormons were, but failed to mention how wonderful this girl's Mormon family fully accepted her after they were finally able to accept that their daughter was a lesbian. She did mention that it was remarkable that this family was able to accept her so quickly (the movie was shot two years after she came out of the closet), but did not attribute any of this acceptance to their LDS/Mormon/Christian beliefs that we should love one another as children of God, and love our children even if they do not choose the path we would like them to follow.
Well, I still don't know how to really reconcile in the minds of others that if an organization speaks out on behaviors that it views as immoral, it does not make it a gay-hating organization. I think that anyone that says that it is, is engaging in black and white thinking, and not seeing the issue from the worldview of the other. I know I haven' t done this justice, but again, it bothered me that the LDS church was attacked in such a negative way, and in such a public forum.
Oh, and if "the Crow" (bhl) reads this, let your sister CL know that there is a movie out with her kids from East High in it talking about the formation of the Gay Straight Lesbian Alliance...The film was called either "Out of the Past," or "Making History," I'm not sure which. She may already know about it, but I thought she might want to watch it.
